I do not know what I want to do. Maybe I have some vague ideas, just enough to start something. It will turn into something completely different than expected. Yet to a recognizable expression of what right now feels natural and what is an attempt at a solution to the problems any new beginning is a continuation of. It’s like playing roulette or fishing. Loss or gain is crucial. Never lose and win with the same mind! I clean up a bit after the previous day‘s excesses, drink some of the coffee, put on some music. Right now, I often hear Beach Boys’ ‘Pet Sounds’ and I think the music and the paintings suit each other. I surf the surface, just keep my balance, but am constantly on the verge of crashing. Speed ​​is crucial, speed must be up, accelerating and braking sharply when obstacles or new opportunities appear. I have to have total focus in the crucial seconds. The rest of the time I am distracted, distracted and absent. This is also important. Here comes the ideas and the sensations and the hints of a new painting, a potential painting, the real painting. My body moves in space, my hands follow my impulses, the physical contact is important, I smear the paint around on the canvas, brushes, sponges, sprays, hands and fingers. I do not express anything, I do not want anything, I do not want to say anything, I do not mean anything. This is freedom for me, or as close to freedom one as a human being might get. Style is crucial, everything is style, with the right style everything becomes possible. The painter strolls in style in front of the canvas and situations arise and disappear in one go. Random encounters between intentions, movement and resistance. I improvise with the available possibilities, it succeeds, it fails, something unpredictable may arise, something I would not have invented myself. I talk to myself and the painting responds again, I learn new things about myself and the world. The painting is an archive of suggestions and possibilities, it creates itself, densifications occur and possibilities close. As a result of a pragmatic decision, the painting is completed before it is finished. The painting is a film, an accumulation of overlapping images. A non-linear film edited in a blender. The last image is allowed to stand, but all the previous images can still be seen as shadows and tactility. The painting is built up and broken down by marks deposited by the brush, the hand and fingers, the sponge, the cloud of spray. Painting is frozen activity in time and space. The painting is a plan and a space. The painting is itself, cumbersome and headstrong, the painting must be kicked into place. The painting is ugly, the painting is beautiful, the painting becomes almost good but something is always wrong or annoying. The good painting is never finished.